Facebook
by Beverii
Summary: Squalo spends a few minutes finding out from Lussuria what is facebook. Pure crack, something I came up with before band practice. Rated T for Squalo's mouth and Xanxus' bad statuses.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello everyone! Its been about 3 years since I updated my fanfiction page! So to start off with the revival of my account, I'll give you guys a totally crack fan fiction of Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn! No real plot here, just plain crack.**

"Facebook"

"Voi! Lussuria, what the hell are you doing in my room?" The silverette stormed right into his own room, pulling the door oh-so violently until the hinges nearly came off. In front of his eyes was the Varia Sun Guardian tapping away on his newly-bought computer...with unbelievably fast internet connection. Well, of course it was fast. The Varia could afford anything.

"Hi Squ-chan!" Lussuria greeted, before continuing to click around the site he was at. "The Vongola had told me about this new site called 'Facebook'! Check it out~" He gestured Squalo to come over. The swordsman groaned as he walked towards the macintosh. His eyes scanned the screen.

A white page with some hues of light indigo was on the screen. "What the fuck?" Squalo muttered under his breath, looking at Lussuria's status: "Squalo doesn't know what facebook is! :)"

"This is a fucking social networking site. Why the hell do you need this for, Lussuria?" Squalo asked, curious. Lussuria grinned, "To keep in touch with the Vongola of course! See, they're on facebook too!" Squalo moved nearer to the screen and scanned Lussuria's friend list. "Sawada Tsunayoshi...Gokudera Hayato...What the FUCK!" He yelled when his eyes caught a certain name. _ Yamamoto Takeshi_. "What is the katana brat doing in your list?"

Lussuria chuckled lightly as Squalo's reaction, "Oh Squ-chan, you need to relax. You should make your own account too! Then we can play Farmville together..." "NO, you've got to be fucking joking, Lussuria. I don't have time to play your 'Farmville' or your whatever 'ville' you have on facebook. Now just get the fuck out of my room!"

The Sun Guardian pouted, before reluctantly leaving the room which was Squalo's. The silverette took over the seat, and scanned throughout the facebook page. He pondered for a moment, a hand on his resting on his cheek. Maybe with this...He scanned through Lussuria's friend list again.

_Sawada Tsunayoshi...Yamamoto Takeshi...Belphegor ThePrince...Reborn TheEpicTutor..._His lips curved into a smile when he finally found that one name he was looking for. _Xanxus._

He hovered the mouse onto the "Create account" sign, and spent the rest of the week figuring ways to work his way around this networking site.

But of course, the only reason he had an account was just to read his boss' status updates. Or...stalk him in other words. Unforunately, Squalo found some statuses...not so amusing.

_"You fucking idiot shark! Go do your reports!"_

_"Stop fucking stalking on facebook!"_

_"Quit stalking me, scum!"_

The shark liked all of them anyway.

**AN: If you guys do like it, I'll make a sequel about it. Maybe more about Xanxus getting angry with Squalo for stalking him, I'm not sure. But I'm open to comments and advice on improvement! I wrote this in only 20 minutes because I had band practice after that. Sorry for any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. No flaming, please be aware I'm only think of writing as a hobby and I only do it for fun.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Since you guys wanted a sequel to "Facebook", I guess I have some free time so here's another chapter for you. Not as good as the previous, but since you guys wanted I mean hey, why not?  
**

Squalo had been spending most of his time on the social networking site. His cheek was constantly resting on his left palm, as he clicked away on games like 'Farmville', 'Pet Society' and his personal favorite: 'Mafia Wars'. (Well, he WAS a hitman after all.)

He had been on it for hours, days, and weeks. He spent all his time "stalking" his boss, liking his updates and making ridiculous comments about it. Although it seemed alright to Squalo, Xanxus, on the contrary, started to lose it.

"God damn shark." Xanxus cursed under his breath as he read Squalo's insulting comments on his latest status. He frowned further when he saw Lussuria and Belphegor liking his comment. He took a sip from his cup of liquor, before smashing the glass back on his oak wood table, contents spilling out slightly.

That was when Mammon hovered into his office, his hood waving slight against the breeze.  
"Hey Boss, I have your report done." He bluntly said, hovering closer to the table. Xanxus rubbed his forehead as he looked at the piles of paper thrown onto his desk, bundled together with a rubber band. "Get the damn shark into my office. Now." Vongola IX's adoptive son simply commanded, his anger rising with every notification he received on his MacBook.

Mammon nodded and hovered out. Xanxus wasn't going to go easy on Squalo.

The rain guardian was harvesting his berries on Farmville when he heard his door open. He minimized the page and opened a new tab to Google. "Voi, what do you want brat?" He demanded, turning around to face the arcobeleno floating near the door. "Boss wants to see you." Mammon replied without much emotion. _Shit!_ Was the only word that came to Squalo's mind. "Whatever." He said, before getting out of the room with the arcobeleno floating the opposite direction.

When Squalo reached Xanxus' office, he immediately stood rooted on the ground near the door. He was so dead. But hey, Squalo had spent his weeks being amused by Xanxus' reactions on the social networking site. A smirk ran across his face as he placed his palm on the handle, ready for whatever is coming for him. Be it a lecture or a glass of liquor, he didn't really give a shit.

He flung the door open while screaming his usual word. "VOI! What the hell do you want?" Squalo yelled. The reply was simple: A glass of liquor to the head. A loud crash filled the office, and pieces of glass laid on the floor. Squalo's silver locks were drained light red, and he would be spending a lot of time trying to get the stain out. "What the fuck, Xanxus!"

Xanxus merely turned his MacBook around so the screen could face Squalo. The rain guardian walked up to it, holding onto his forehead where a new wound was formed. "Explain, trash." Xanxus bluntly, red eyes glaring at his subordinate. Squalo simply stood there for a moment. Silence filled the room, neither men saying anything.

Squalo thought of something to say, blood trickling down his cheek. "I need a fucking BREAK Xanxus! I can't be working for you all the time! I don't even get paid." He muttered the last sentence, hoping his boss wouldn't hear. Xanxus frowned.

The rain guardian turned towards the door, ready to leave. "Trash, you tagged me in _every_ single wall post you put up. What the hell is wrong with you?" Xanxus asked, causing Squalo to turn back. "Nothing is bloody wrong with me!" Squalo insisted, leaning forward.

"Then why do you tag me in your posts!"

"For fun!"

"Yeah right! And not to mentioned, you and that Lussuria spammed my wall!"

"Big deal!"

"And did you hack my Pet Society account?"

"The hell? No!"

The ridiculous argument over a social networking site went on for quite awhile. It was almost dark out, and the two men continued arguing about that one site. Not arguing about reports, or even the Vongola, but..._Facebook._ Of all things.

"Get out of my office already." Xanxus demanded, angry to the extent that he was about to throw the MacBook itself at Squalo, hoping he'd get a concussion or something. Or brain damage. "I gladly will, asshole!" Squalo finally said, before storming out the office.

He headed for the washroom in his room and grabbed a towel to wipe off the blood which had been on his face for God knows how long. He then threw himself on his seat and went back to facebook, cursing his boss on his status.

And then his boss commented on his status, and the argument continued on facebook.

They never knew that there was a block list.

**AN: I had a lot of fun writing this short story. Maybe I'll make another version regarding the Vongola one day :D Reviews and advice is nice, but no flames please!**


End file.
